III. Fight the Good Fight and Keep Moving Forward

I have a friend that, for anonymity, I call Charles. Charles has been feeling pretty down lately.

Photo "Cirese Amare" by Bittersweetvenom, link here.

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I have a friend that, for anonymity, I call Charles. Charles has been feeling pretty down lately. He has grown tired of where we live, much like I have, and aspires to move far away from here--in full, he wants a completely new life. He wishes to head to the Northeastern quadrant, specifically New York. My travels have yet to take me there (not for lack of trying, mind you), but he's told me stories and I am intrigued of the thought of living in a metropolitan atmosphere again.

I bring up this old friend of mine because he finds himself depressed as of late, although he has fought his rampant dissatisfaction for quite some time. His home situation is reasonable enough and he has a well-paying, secure, easy job, although not without its share of annoyances. He regularly has access to easily quintuple what I have in the bank at a time (granted, I'm paying school fees and ironing out minor debt at present). Yet, things aren't enough, because the environment here, no argue about it, is sorely lacking in stimulation. We live in a boring town that's outside a boring city. Neither of us are the drinking and partying type, and that cuts out the only true appeal that our environment offers.

Really, though. It is a very boring place.



He doesn't mean to be depressed and moody, and he certainly doesn't wish to bring others down to his level. However, it stands to fact that he is sadly lost at the moment. I know the feeling well. I have spent a great amount of time trying to bring myself to some sort of resolution, an equilibrium between my external and internal situation. It's taken years of self-improvement and self-evaluation to slowly climb to where I am now, and it's still shaky going. Obviously, I'm not saying that I have worked it all out. On the contrary, my own financial situation is very stop-and-go itself, and that it is pretty much the missing element of my life: I have plenty of time, even with full-time college, and I enjoy my work when I'm not having to rely on it for upcoming bills.

It is difficult to see a friend distressed. I can't offer much, but I try what I can. I have to admit that I'm forced to rely on him at times, more often than comfort allows, and that he has been of great help to me in various adventures or problems. His emotional dissonance makes his seemingly-emulated expressions appear more manufactured than even my own, and he can be difficult at times. He takes farcical pride in what could be described as "robotic" demeanor, but we've been friends for so long that we have a mutual understanding, and often devolve into our own language while we converse.

It's tough to see someone go through something like this, especially when you know how it feels. It was the summer of '10 that I found myself homeless and devoid of possessions, struggling to maintain my job, and sleeping on the floor of his bedroom. I owned little, owed more, and couldn't really afford to give him much for his trouble besides entertainment out of my increasing situational insanity and my company.

He mentioned not long ago that I am, underneath everything else, a survivor.
That whatever it takes to maintain the status quo, I will always find a way.

I've had a long life, and it's been difficult at times. There are still moments that the weight of it all comes back to haunt me, but these moments are few and far between today. I seek out the warmth of light, that reassuring glow in the forefront of your mind that tells you to keep pushing on. It's never been extremely strong for me, but I'm making it my mission to bring it there.

I hope he finds what he is looking for, soon. I don't think I can help him get to New York, as it's financially not in my best interests, but who knows what's waiting in the future? For all I know, I might actually stumble upon a moneymaker in my various projects and ambitions, and afford to continue my education there after all.

Here's to everyone else in the world who suffers, everyone who fights the daily battle.
Here's to finding the light that powers your life and your world.
It's why I started this website and why I keep moving on.

2 comments:

  1. I'm not sure what he's waiting for, besides likely needing someone else to make things cheaper, but I think that perhaps he realizes that a change of atmosphere is only the most temporary of panaceas.

    I would like to move as well, but I understand that there's more to it than just that, and that I must have (a) a strong financial base and (b) a plan.

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